Everyone understands the ‘broad strokes’ of shyness. It’s a feeling of being uncomfortable and awkward when interacting with other people.
More specifically, shyness has the primary characteristic of excessive worry about how other people will judge an individual and his actions. The shy person has so much concern about the reactions they will illicit in others (on a conscious or subconscious level) that they usually avoid social situations. When they can’t avoid them, they withdraw and minimize interactions with others as much as possible.
At one point, ‘shyness’ was a catch-all term for any type of reticence in social situations. In the 21st century, however, our understanding of the condition is much more nuanced.
An introvert, for example, is a person who often will withdraw from social situations by choice. Extreme shyness can be a result of psychological conditions like depression, social anxiety disorder, and low self-esteem. The origin of shyness in an individual can be genetic, environmental, or some combination thereof.
Shyness And Its Impact On Relationships With Women
In general terms, shyness can be detrimental to a person’s life in a variety of ways. Extreme shyness has a link with poor academic performance, vocational underachievement, and emotional distress. It can also cause problems in developing and maintaining personal and professional relationships.
Shy people are definitely not alone. Research suggests that 40% to 60% of adults self-identify as having some degree of shyness.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with shy people that would prevent them from meeting and having a relationship with the opposite sex. The problem, however, is the difficulty they experience in social situations limits their opportunities to do so. Furthermore, their tendency to feel uncomfortable in interpersonal interactions can prevent a promising relationship from getting off the ground.
The Best Way For Men To Deal With Shyness
Due to the wide variety of psychological conditions associated with shyness, there’s not really a ‘one size fits all’ approach to dealing with it. The two salient determinations are the genesis of your shyness and the negative impact it has on your life.
For some people, it feels like an emotional prison. For others, it’s a minor inconvenience that can be overcome by minor lifestyle adaptation. In many ways, the biggest problem that shy men have finding a girlfriend is logistical.
Research demonstrates that shy people have problems initiating relationships but little trouble maintaining intimacy. Over half of all shy people struggle during the introduction phase of a relationship but only seven percent have a problem with intimacy. In other words, once shy men meet women, they’re at no significant disadvantage in maintaining a relationship. For the shy men out there, this program makes it much easier to get a girlfriend.
One Way Or Another
Assuming that shyness isn’t a symptom of a serious psychological issue or a manifestation of poor self-esteem, there’s nothing wrong with it. Shy men can be confident, passionate, responsible, funny, and caring. Once in a relationship, there’s nothing about shyness that is a barrier to its viability.
That being said, there’s no getting around the fact that it’s impossible to get a girlfriend without meeting women. If you’re a shy guy, the best way to get a girlfriend often involves having friends introduce you to women or meeting them online to make it easier to initiate contact.
Long story short, there’s no ‘magic bullet’ that will bring a girlfriend into your life without any effort. It may bring you some solace that this also applies to shy women–at some point everyone has to ‘make the leap’.
This reality applies to meeting women as well as any number of other things that you’ll want in your life. Some people have it easy compared to you, but that’s not an excuse. If you’re a shy guy who wants a girlfriend, you must develop the courage to step out of your comfort zone.